Tuesday, October 17, 2006

9.06.06: THE LONG LOST ADVENTURE OR HOW WE FOUND HERB JR.



WHY IS THIS POST SO LATE?:
One of the SLOTM members got hisself hitched, then forgot to post, then forgot again, and so on and so forth... He is greatly sorry for his tardiness... but not really.

ORIGINAL DESTINATION:
This edition of The Monthly Adventures of SLOTM had us in search of the delectable treats to be found in a mysterious and unexplored establishment creatively named, "Food and Drink."



Given the audacious nature of the name, we of course, were eager to taste the fruits of the place.…Unfortunately, It was closed. Bummer.



BUT not to be defeated, we hopped back on the road, heading for Covington, KY - Home to a plethora of Scary Places (And people - see exhibit A below). Fortunately, it wasn't long before we found HERB & THELMA'S.



LOCATION:
Off the 12th street exit somewhere in the middle of the more sketchy side (as opposed to the other sketchy side) of Covington, KY in a building with no discernible windows and a less than inviting front door. There were no other businesses located nearby, and a good 1 out of 3 buildings surrounding the restaurant appeared to be abandoned.





GRADE B: Despite the less then promising outward appearance, all in all, we were pleasantly surprised by what we found inside. The food to cost ratio was simply outstanding. A hand-grilled (as opposed to... I don't know) 6 oz burger (w/ cheese and fixin's) cost a mere $1.25. Plus, as opposed to other SLOTM adventures, no one got horrendously sick from the food. Not even a little bit. All of the SLOTM members enjoyed a delicious cheeseburger, while one also dined obratraut, and another on an enormous pickle. All shared in a large bag of chips.



Yo, D. Jolly Green Giant called - He wants his pickle back.


I'll get you, you little... Come here!


Everything you see here cost a grand total of 3 Wendy's Junior Bacon Cheeseburgers... Isn't that the currency now?


ATMOSPHERE:
What can I say about the atmosphere? Incredible? Amazing? Astounding? How about Quasi-Religious? Yes! This place was home to THE ONE AND ONLY S.A.S.S. Social Club! Best Guess is that stands for Short And Sexy Singles Social Club. Or maybe Slovakian American Society for Sausages... Anyway it was AMAZING to be in the place where they gather, to sit on the FREAKING tables the S.A.S.S. asses sit on every week... or perhaps bi-monthly, who knows...


The sacred S.A.S.S. coat rack... amazing.

Another touch of class was a VERY impressive display of Reds bobblehead dolls. He had old ones and new ones. It was impressive. Unfortunately, due to copyright laws we were unable to take a photo of the display.


Check out the can. Delicious.


The VIP room. No kidding. I think this room books like a year in advance.

PROPRIETOR/CHEF/HOST/LOCAL HISTORIAN
I think his name was "Herb Jr." Let me put it this way: if it wasn't it should have been. If it was like, "Luke" or "Pete" or anything remotely un-Herb like, it would be a crime. I guess "Frank" or "Lefty" or something old-school like would also work, but "Herb" would be best. After all, he was the love child of Herb & Thelma themselves! Yep. We ponied up to the bar and casually asked him, "So, you been working in this joint long, bub?" He just as casually replied, "Since '64." ....Uh, yeah. That counts. His age was somewhere between old and really old. Also, he kinda looked like Droopy the hound dog. Nice guy though.

SLOTM doing what SLOTM does best: Eat first, ask questions later.



QUESTIONABLENESS LEVEL: 6.5 (out of 10)
From the outside, this place was easily a 9.5, but the inside was more like a 7.5 and the food was more like a 3.


EXHIBIT A:

This dude tried to sell us a gator on the way in. What a nut.

Monday, October 16, 2006

10/11/06: J&W Bar-B-Que


LOCATION:
Our third SLOTM adventure took place at the J&W Bar-B-Que, on the corner of Montgomery and Lawndale in Pleasant Ridge.

GRADE: C
Three of the four of us indulged in the lunch special, which consisted of rib tips, cole slaw, pinto beans and cornbread. There was decent rib meat to be found among the gristle, it just required significant effort. The slaw was pretty decent, but the beans were nothing to write home about. Perhaps most disappointing was the cornbread (cold and flavorless). The taste of the actual BBQ sauce, however, was smoky and delightful. Also factored into this mediocre rating is the price/ value equation, which was not as good as I'd hoped--the 'special' cost $7.50, and didn't represent significant savings over the a la carte pricing.

QUESTIONABLE LEVEL: 6 (of 10)
This place was not a restaurant, per se; it was a trailer and smoker in a parking lot. We knew this much going in. Although there was a single picnic table we enjoyed for a few minutes, the skies opened and the rains came shortly after receiving our food, so we ate under the overhang of the abandoned building next to the trailer. This certainly upped the 'questionableness' level, as did the bizarre beverages Steven purchased at the pony keg across the street.




CONTACT NAME: Willy
We met Willy, the owner and "W" in J&W (the "J" is his wife, Jean). Willy was a super nice guy, and didn't seem too weirded out that a couple of random white kids were seeking him out while he was chilling in his pick-up truck down the street.

QUOTE: "You sure there ain't no forks in the bag?!" (server lady)
There were, in fact, forks in the bag. Look UNDER your styrofoam container, David. Sheesh.

NOTES/PHOTOS:



Don't try eating at this place on Sunday, Monday or Tuesday. You'll be out of luck. Thankfully, SLOTM is a Wednesday affair.







That last photo is a non-SLOTM-related bonus. Who dey say gonna win a bike, indeed? "Barbers, away!"