03/07/07: J.K.'s Chili

LOCATION: J.K.'s Chili (Breakfast & Sandwiches)
A puked-upon keyboard necessitated a midday trip north to the Apple store for a replacement, so today's SLOTM adventure took place in my neck of the woods, none other than good ol' Madeira, OH. Kyle wanted chili. Stevie wanted breakfast. DVal wanted a sandwich.

I knew just the place.

GRADE: A-
This place was one of the best SLOTM finds to date. The food was very good, in a greasy spoon diner, breakfast-and-sandwich-counter chili joint kind of way. Although we felt a little ostracized at first (as the only non-regulars in the place), this sensation is one to which we've become more or less accustomed, as pretty much every SLOTM venue has been a haven for "regulars." The service was a little chilly initially, too, mostly thanks to Stevie's hemming and hawing over menu options and protest of the inavailability of the "small breakfast" at lunchtime (more on the server relationship in the "Contact" section below). Really, the only reason I've graded this place an "A-" instead of a straight up "A" is that our food took a little too long and J.K. only accepts cash (another common bane of the SLOTM warriors).

QUESTIONABLE LEVEL: 4 (of 10)
J.K. falls on the lower end of this scale thanks mostly to the good food and the safe, Mayberry-like environs of Madeira. Don't get me wrong, though. It's a dive. (Just look at the pictures below.) The SLOTM fixtures of cheap wood paneling, dingy lighting and assortments of totally random crap on the walls just add to J.K.'s charm, if you ask me.




There are so many odd things to be found (if you look closely) in the pictures above, but let me highlight just a few: how about that ancient Native American dagger hanging above the Reds pennant? (My theory is that only the TRUE heir to the J.K. dynasty will be able to remove it from the wall.) Then, just to the right, there's the "Attitude Adjuster" mallet from Marge Schott's house (yep, we asked). Uh, that makes sense there, I guess. Perhaps the most soothing decorative element we enjoyed today, though, was the realistic beach scene mural behind DVal. It was like a mini vacation in the middle of the work day!

CONTACT NAMES: Angie (I think) & Jerry (the "J" in "J.K.'s Chili")
As I mentioned above, I think we (read: Steven) rubbed Angie the wrong way initially. At first I thought we were in for an awkward series of curt interactions that might or might not have resulted in spit in somebody's food or someone kissing someone's grits. In all fairness, however, Angie was the only server in the bustling chili-cum-sandwich joint. She simply didn't have the time to suffer a table of witty newbies pontificating on possible menu permutations while a restaurant full of hungry drywallers waited to be served. After the (early) lunch rush passed, Angie succumbed to the collective charm of the SLOTM adventurers and regaled us with the establishment's history.

And speaking of history, J.K.'s can be summed up in a word: "Jerry." Jerry, an immigrant to these fine United States, has owned this restaurant for 35 years, during which he's worked consecutive 100-hour weeks without a vacation to put two kids through college. Wow. Now that's one heck of a work ethic. No wonder he's selling the place next year. He's probably exhausted. We asked Jerry to recreate the photo of himself 35 years younger (and looking very much like a chili-slinging Borat - that's NICE!), and although he didn't quite get it, he was happy to pose in front of it for us. Way to go, Jerry. SLOTM loves ya.



QUOTE: "You boys want to buy my restaurant?" (Jerry)

NOTES/PHOTOS:
For as good as the food is here, J.K. advertises lottery sales on an equal billing. We didn't bite.

I bet you didn't know that I was Maderia High School's defensive lineman of the week in 1993. Neither did I.



Uncle Steve treated us to ice cream Snickers bars on the way home because we were good. We were happy campers (DVal ate his in less than 10 seconds). Thanks, Uncle Stevie!